Monday 14 April 2014

Assignment 2 images - Depression portfolio


Introduction and overview

No future
It's a nice clear day and then it's not; I could see and feel and understand and then the greyness starts to seep in. There's nothing I can do to stop it, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it takes over completely and everything slows to grey.


The Black Dog
He's an easy way to talk about it, superficial because he can't really explain my feelings but good at explaining my mood - bad day = big black dog! Before this, it wasn't really a dog, I'm not sure its really a dog now. But because I picked this dog, it seems more like a dog. A scary dog on a bad day.

Self medication
I'm entitled to some time off, time to not be who I am.

Bars
I'm such an idiot! I didn't do that, I can't believe I did that.  
How will I ever live this down, what are people saying about me?.
I can't go out again, what will people think?
I'm such an idiot. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't believe I did that.

Isolation
Its lonely not being able to talk about it. Just leave me alone, I'm fine.
Its difficult trying to talk about it. Just leave me alone, I'm fine.
Its impossible to put it into words so that you understand it. Just leave me alone, I'm fine
Its tiring just trying not to think about it. Just leave me alone, I'm fine.
Its easier not to talk about it. Just leave me alone. Help me!


Everyday tasks
Make you a cup of tea, on a bad day it would be just the same as you asking me to climb Mount Everest!
It takes all my effort and concentration to walk across the room.


Frustration
No matter how hard I try to change things - nothing works; the harder I try, the more frustrating the situation becomes. I end up so angry and frustrated with myself, it feels like I'm crying inside my head and no one can see, so nobody can help!

Stuck
Tired, so tired I can't think or feel or breath.
So tired I can't move a muscle, I can't even close my eyes.
So tired I can't sleep.
I feel like I'm dead.
I wish I was dead.

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